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a new year

A new year often means a fresh start. And it is. But for some, and for me this year, it is a reminder of another year that has passed. Another year spent waiting, looking… wondering.

Not that there weren’t many blessings and joys alongside the waiting. If it weren’t for them, perhaps I would’ve fainted.

I have been sustained in this place, but I am most certainly still waiting.

Waiting for what?

I wish I could say.

Almost four years ago, I was utterly betrayed by people I trusted. By people who claimed to love God even as they were throwing me out, hurling vicious and false accusations and turning a blind eye to the three years of full-time labor I had poured out. Labor that I was never paid for. Labor that I was promised compensation for.

Any one of those things would have been hard – but all of them?

And like Joseph, I have been waiting.

I have good days. And I have bad days.  And I’ve learned to cling, desperately, to God. Knowing that the actions of people – even if they call themselves Christians – often do not reflect His heart and who he is.

Betrayal is a symptom of a fallen world. And so I wait. Wait for vindication that only God can bring…

I’ve read the end of the book… He wins:-)

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