I get letters – I love getting letters!! It’s always a wonderful feeling for an author to hear from readers that were impacted by his or her books. I’m no exception. Some of the letters make me smile and laugh. Some of the letters make me weep.
And because I also keep track of my website traffic (can’t help myself) – I’ve noticed a strange trend there as well. People are finding the blog by searching “feeling lonely” – all the time. So many lonely hearts out there. So many people struggling to find someone who will understand, someone who will care, someone who will listen.
I was one of those people for a long time. I never felt like I could talk to my parents. My mom was distant, usually hiding behind a book and as long as my grades were good, she just left me alone. My dad was the one I could sort of talk to and I looked up to him a lot – until he started using cocaine and became someone else entirely. That left me completely on my own. That can be a dangerous place. For me – it left me vulnerable to the deceptions of witchcraft.
Back to the letters – so many times I respond “You should talk to your parents”. There is only so much I can do from afar. I can pray for you. I can encourage you, but when we really need help, that help comes best from the people that are in our lives on a daily basis.
But I’m also keenly aware that some of you might have the same problem I did – feeling like you have no where to turn, no one to really talk to. Yes, God is there with you. And He can comfort you if you’ll draw near to Him. But sometimes we need “someone with skin” to really help us through – to help us see clearly when the whole world seems to have turned to mud. So what do you do if you don’t feel safe going to your parents?
You find someone else.
You look around you.
Is there a teacher who you admire or think highly of? Is there a leader at your church who seems kind? Do you have a good friend whose parents seem authentic and caring? A relative? A coach? A neighbor? There is someone around you who can help but you will have to look. And you’ll still have to be brave in order to step up to them and ask if you can talk with them. Help is out there.
And your parents? Maybe you should give them a chance – they could surprise you…
But if your relationship with your parents is broken, and you don’t feel safe going to them, then it might be necessary to get into counseling. The counselor will be able to tell your parents things that you may not be able to say to them. It’s worth trying to fix, so don’t give up. That person that you look for might be able to help that happen as well.