Archive - who are you becoming? RSS Feed

your faith plan

Greetings from Sarah!

I have a new book project that I’m working on – and frankly, I’m quite excited about it! It’s for high school seniors getting ready to head off to college. What a great time of life! Exciting. And maybe a little terrifying, too.

So because of the project, I have graduation on the brain. It’s still a few months off, but I bet a lot of you seniors already have a raging case of senioritis. (Yes, I’m pretty sure it’s a real disease.) The thing is, life is full of major changes, and high school graduation is a pretty big one. Now since it’s February, I imagine some of you already know where you’re going to school. Maybe some are waiting to head off to college. Maybe some of you aren’t going – either by choice, or because of finances. Going to college was a directive in my house – not going was never an option. I’m thankful that I was able to go away to school. Of course, when I left home in August and moved into a dorm room with two total strangers, I didn’t know then how drastically my life was going to change.

I was not a Christian when I graduated high school, in fact, I was a practicing witch. Yes, you read that right:-) I had no intention of looking for God at college and yet God burst into my life and changed everything.

But while I found Jesus in college, I watched others fall away. People who I looked up to my freshmen year had grown distant and cold about God by the time they were seniors. I couldn’t figure it out. Why would they abandon their faith? The Apostle Paul describes walking with God as a “race” – read Hebrews 12:-) Well, I’ve never run in a real race, but I know it’s not something you accidentally fall into. Joining the faith journey is a choice we make, but once we’re in the race, we become a “runner”. Runners train, and plan and enter the races in front of them. And then once they’re there, they don’t decide to window shop or go get a coffee while they’re running. No. They stay the course.

So just like a runner chooses a race, and then trains and plans for it – you can do the same thing with college. How will you keep your faith walk while you’re there? Whole books have been written on this subject – and there’s a reason for it. You can’t go in unaware. The walk with God – well, it’s just too precious, too valuable, to take lightly.

The first question is this. What do you really believe? Not what your parents or your friends or your family or anyone else – but you – what do you really believe? What does your faith look like when you are all alone?

*********
We’ll continue the “your faith plan” series each Thursday.

ashamed

I feel so pervy, and I’m not even sure why I’m writing this…why I’m writing this here. I guess I just need to get it out, and since to respond…that should help too. Try not to think of me in a negative light.



I pretend to be okay. When people ask me how I’m doing, I say I’m fine. My guess is they don’t actually want to hear how I’m doing, so I hold it in. I hold in everything. I hold in the fact that I was molested for five years by my two female cousins at the age of five. I hold in the fact that I hate being a sexual human being at times. I hold in the fact that in fourth grade I kissed a girl, thinking the whole time that I was a lesbian. I hold in the fact that I struggle sexually, and at times I wish I could be married…maybe then things would be different…maybe then I wouldn’t be so overwhelmed. (I’m still a virgin, don’t worry. I’m saving myself for marriage, but it seems hard with all these thoughts swimming around in my head. I read my Bible and do devotions, but sometimes it doesn’t seem to help.)



I really am ashamed of myself. I’m ashamed of the struggle that I have to undergo, and the fact that I can’t seem to conquer it, even with God’s help. I’m ashamed that I ponder having sex with random people just to have a sense of peace in some way, or just to make the feeling go away—to have the feeling of nothing, but even feeling nothing is void of peace.



I wish I could have a different life. I wish I could have a brand new start. I wish that just maybe this feeling could go away, and I could feel worthy of love. My struggle somewhat stops me from liking a guy because of shame. No one could love what I’ve become. I wish someone could. It feels like even God can’t love me that much, but I know he can.


It might be different if…my life was different.




Dear D-

My heart break at the struggles you’re facing – and I want you to know 1 – that nothing can separate you from the love of God. He loves you. He sees your pain. He knows your heart. And He loves you still. And 2 - I also feel like what you’re facing cannot – and should not- be faced alone. Be strong. Be brave. And seek help.

I recommend this book as a starting place: Every Young Woman’s Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart and Body is a Sex-saturated World by Shannon Etheridge & Stephen Arterburn

But sorting through what happened to you, and the feelings and confusion you have, I would recommend counseling. There is NO shame in getting help. The isolation you are feeling makes everything ten times worse. When you come out of that isolation, and find a trusted counselor to start sorting through the abuse, it brings much needed light into the situation. I know how hard asking for help will be. I know it, and yet I’m begging you to do it. Don’t try to face this alone. God is your ever-present help in times of trouble, but He created us to function as a body. You shouldn’t face this alone.

Lord Jesus – help D find healing and wholeness as she encounters your love and mercy towards her. Lord, give her the courage to seek help and lead her to those that will love and support her and help her discover a deeper understanding of Your love towards her. Restore what the enemy has stolen from her. And in Your strength, help her become the courageous and compassionate woman you have called her to be. Draw near to her Lord…

I am praying for you D-

Sarah

embarrassed

From B:

Why does my mom insist on embarrassing me?  She wants to take pictures of me, but I am fat and it shows in pictures.  She’ll never take “no” for an answer.

-B

Dear B-

I don’t really know for sure what your mom may be thinking, but I do know how you feel. And now that I am a mom, I’m thinking that maybe your mom wants to take pictures of you because she loves you. She sees the beautiful girl you really are. 

Can you talk to her about it? Share with her why you’re struggling with the pictures? Then maybe she’ll understand a bit of what you’re feeling, and you’ll understand what she’s feeling. 

And if you are unhappy with the way you look (and believe me – I know that struggle – I’ve struggled with my weight most of my life), there is help out there. I recommend Thin Within. You don’t have to join anything or buy food – but they have several books which are very helpful. But that part is up to you – because God loves you – no matter what that silly number on the scale says. That is the most important part to remember.

I am praying for you.

Page 4 of 4«1234