Today on Secret High School from Confused:
I really like this guy who attends my church, but I’m only in Grade 9. I know that I should just start by being friends with him and I have been, but the more I get to know him, the more I want to date him. He got every perfect quality for a guy that I’d want. My heart is going one way, even though I know that I should take it slowly and rely on God from there (especially since I don’t know how he feels). I’ve been trying to do what Proverbs 4:23 says, which is, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” But I just feel confused, and like I should know exactly how he feels, and what I should do…. any words of advice for someone who’s confused about a boy??
That’s a great scripture to hang onto! And there are many, many others:
Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. (Song 8:4)
Whom have I in heaven but Thee? And besides Thee, I desire nothing on earth. (Psalm 73:25)
For your husband is your Maker, whose name is the Lord of hosts; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, who is called the God of all earth. (Is. 54:5)
I could go on and on, and I’m sure this is a topic that we’ll talk about regularly on this blog. But for you, right now, don’t be in a rush to find relationships. The only relationship you ever need to trouble your heart about going after is your relationship with God. Because if you’re following after Him – seeking His heart, well, He’ll guide you and give you wisdom when it comes to relationships with boys. I promise.
My journals growing up are packed with the same kinds of questions you’re asking now, but all of that worry and anxiety didn’t do me a bit of good. All it did was keep me spinning in circles – and that’s not what us children of God are supposed to be doing.
Be friends with the guy. Being friends can be a great thing. But don’t give away your heart. Not yet. Not until you’ve had time to become wholly His first. You see, we can’t really have a fulfilling relationship with someone else until we’ve learned how to get all of our needs and desires met in our relationship with God.
The single best book that I will recommend a hundred times over is Passion & Purity by Elisabeth Elliot. Read it. Learn how to turn your love life over to God and leave it in His capable and loving hands.
Praying for you ~Sarah~
How can God work His will in me if I am clogged with wishes of my own? ~Elisabeth Elliot
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